Let's face it, when it comes to dating, there's never a sure-fire manual that can tell you what to do to find your perfect match. It's usually a challenging affair, and the current dynamics brought about by digital transformation, the need for online gratification and the high cost of living have made the playing field even more complex.

This is why we may be seeing a new phenomenon of an increase in single men and women who do not want to settle down with a partner.

Also Read: Watch: Nakuru residents try out Kiswahili tongue twisters to mark World Kiswahili Language Day

Traditionally, men have been known to make the first move, but over time women have taken over the mantle of making the first move.

But despite this, the idea of settling down with a partner is becoming more elusive than ever.

According to Samuel Nduta, a Nakuru Bodaboda operator, he would have settled down by now, but with the high cost of living, he is caught between a rock and a hard place when he thinks about how he will be able to provide for a family.

"Ningeoa lakini maisha inazidi kupanda ..... I would have married, but life is getting harder and harder," Samuel Nduta laments.

For Nduta, marriage means that a woman has to share the hardships of life with him, something he says women today are not prepared to do.

Also Read: Why Nakuru parties harder on Saturday than Friday

Women, he says, prefer "sponsors" who give them the "baby girl" treatment, making it difficult for women to consider a struggling man.

Paul Nyaga reads from the same script as Nduta. Nyaga says there is a lot of burden that comes with marriage because it means you have to provide for more than one person.

"Ukioa kuna gharama .... Marriage comes with responsibilities. It reaches a point where the woman tends to look down on you and lacks respect. Especially if the man can no longer provide for her as he did when they were together," Paul Nyaga said.

For Maxwell Mudavadi, a married man, the reason why men are not ready to settle down is that most men do not want to commit to one woman.

"Some guys will never be able to settle down because they don't want to miss out on the next potential conquest. Most men are looking for the next chase, which makes them immune to true love. These types of men close themselves off to real emotion and instead focus on the physical intimacy they get," Maxwell Mudavadi said.

The situation is no different for women. Despite the fact that getting married and starting a family is something that has been sold to them since childhood.

Also Read: DJ Ruby: From an IT Student To a DJ

"The moment you give birth to your first child, the father of your child no longer sees you as important. Men tend to change as soon as responsibility is put on the table again, and that's why there are more single people today," Juliani Odour said.

According to Jane Gichure, there just aren't as many worthy men around. High-calibre men are no longer real.

"With the increase in unemployment and the lack of real values, there are more immature losers out there than real men worth a try," Jane Gichure said.

mandikizella@gmail.com

Character development, high cost of living and an increase in the number of single men and women

Author Spotlight

Winnie Kimani